February 26, 2010

Change is merely a state of mind...

Continuation is key. For I am not merely beginning a new chapter of my life, rather continuing to write the book. I think that too often people look at change as a fresh start, the chance to begin anew. In my eyes however I am learning from past mistakes and creating new experiences.

Change is never easy as you fight to hold on and you fight to let go. And that is exactly how I have come to see the constant changes that occur in my life. Going to college, moving to a big city, joining a sorority, spending vacations back home, new and old relationships, and ultimately moving to another country for 5 months are all chapters of my life that I have taken on with great enthusiasm and fought to explore to their fullest.

Getting ready to leave the United States and venture to a new country has brought with it similar emotions as leaving my small town in Connecticut in exchange for an amazing college experience in Boston, Massachusetts. On the outside, what I hope is pure excitement.

When ever the topic is approached my cemented response is, “I can’t wait, I am soo excited!” I then hope to prove this as truth by explaining why I chose to study abroad in New Zealand or I recite the numerous anecdotes about the country that I memorized while researching the two island country off the coast of Australia. If anyone doubted my sincerity, I am unaware.

Inside however, there has been a chain of mixed emotions that seem to circle on a continuous loop. Am I doing the right thing? Am I going to miss my family? Will it be as amazing as I hope? I am going to love it! I am going to have an amazing time! Will people miss me or even forget about me? Goodness they have a lot of sheep there!

Luckily the excitement always beats the fear in this eternal struggle and I know that without that fear, this opportunity would not be nearly as thrilling.

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